What's a Long Time?

Some days, an hour feels like a long time, and then some days you turn around and suddenly the day is over and you don't know where it went to. And you know, the older I get, the faster the years sort of slip on by, and I can't believe that I'm thirty-six and I can't believe that I'm not a teenager running around with my friends and I can't believe I'm not writing a paper for and English class or cramming for a final at BYU. I can't believe I'm not packing up my car and moving far away for the first time, or I can't believe I'm not taking the metro into work at Finnegan Henderson.

And then I think if this has all gone by so fast, then how fast will the next thirty-six years fly by me.

I've been thinking about time and how long is a long time, anyway? Is one month or one year a long time? Is five years a long time? Is ten years or twenty? Or thirty? I'm beginning to wonder. This is because I feel like I've been waiting to get married for a long time. Ten or fifteen years now. I thought I'd be married in my early twenties, and then I thought it would happen by my mid twenties. I was thinking just a few days ago that it isn't going to happen, and that I'm the only one, I mean the only person ever, to have to wait for so long for something. I mean, I know people who have had to wait for things and who have struggled, but this seems like a looooooong time, you know?

And then we talked about Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, in Sunday School. So do the math and think about it. She was a "ripe old age" when she found out she was going to have John. She'd been waiting and waiting, and her husband was praying for her in the temple, as he had done for so long, that God would take away her reproach. So this is my summation of what I learned.

1. She had to have waited a really long time...perhaps thirty to forty years or more. If she was married somewhere in her teens and "ripe old age" meant something in her forties or fifties? She waited a long time.

2. Her husband continued to pray. He did not give up even if the time had passed. Even if certain facts of life would tell them that it was time to let it go. He continued to exercise faith that things could change.

3. Many many people have waited. Sarah and Rachel also waited for children for a long time. And Alma waited for his son to turn around. Over and over they prayed and still waited.

4. Miracles are not contingent upon just faith alone. The bible dictionary explains that miracles come through Christ's love. Faith precedes the miracle, but there is more than just faith involved. There is hope and there is meekness and there is charity, and those things, too, bring miracles. Most especially, I believe, the love of Jesus Christ is key and that, too, can bring the miracle.

And so yes, ten to fifteen years. Is it a long time? Is it too long to wait? Is there a reason for me to say let it go? Or is there another, better way? Fifteen years may not be so long and I am not the only one to wait and wait and wait, and I'm sure I'm not the first person who has thought to give up and let it go. And so I will continue to pray for marriage and the miracle, and I'll stop (or I will try really really hard to stop) worrying about "too late."