Listening

I've been impressed, of late, with the importance of a special talent. I think it's a rare gift. The gift is that of really listening.

Think about the last conversation you had and then ask yourself if you were listening to what the other person was saying or whether you were trying to think of the next thing you were going to say in the conversation.

I think at times I am a good listener, but I am pretty sure that much of the time I am not. I'm guilty of trying to think of what to say next rather than really hearing what my fellow in chit-chat has to say. It's distressing to admit it. Mostly because I think that it's a pretty self-centered habit...thinking of what important thing you will spout off next, especially if you are listening to someone who really needs a friend.

I also think I do it when I want to be heard but I don't want to hear. You know those times when you might feel the need to vindicate or justify yourself. Or when you feel the need to be right about something. I find I'm not listening really well at those times but rather I am think mostly about myself and making sure that everyone around me gets my perspective, and that's pretty selfish and stupid.

And then I must admit that I am always so very grateful when I do have that friend who really listens to me when I need it. Or I think about those people who don't feel like they need to be right or to vindicate themselves. And I realize that listening to others really is a gift, and it is a gift that I want to cultivate better. I don't have to be heard all the time. In fact, probably most of the time...I actually need to do some listening.