Have you read The Book Thief? If you have not, I think you should. It's one of those books that you don't forget, you know? It's like this...I've read my fair share of Dan Brown and John Grisham. I enjoy both authors quite a lot. But if you ask me about their books, even a week after I've read them, I'd probably say hmmm. I don't remember a whole lot! It's just fun escapism, but it isn't really cerebral stuff.
Not so with The Book Thief. Trust me. You'll remember it. It makes the little wheels whirl around in your head. Which reminds me, I need to read more Zusak.
But this isn't a review of a book.
So a few days ago, a few of my very very very lucky friends in Utah got to see Mr. Zusak at the Provo Library. I so so so wish I could have been there. Sadly, I was not. I sort of have a little crush on him. He's absolutely adorable. But that isn't the point of this post, either.
Actually, Zusak said something during his speech. And it has me thinking. (Little disclaimer: this is via my friend Dawn, who happened to be there, so I'm not directly quoting Mr. Zusak, and any claim to the contrary will be firmly rebutted. Carry on.) This is what he said, in essence, according to Dawn. In order to be a writer, you have to make it a top priority in your life. As in first or maybe second priority. What does that mean, as far as priorities are concerned? Well, he said that rewrote the beginning of The Book Thief hundreds of times. Hundreds of times? Wow! He tried to work the voice from various angles and had, at one point, abandoned Death as a narrator. But he came back to that after trying on various voices.
Huh.
And of course that has me thinking.
What am I willing to sacrifice? There are moments in your life when you make a decision, a conscious decision, to change your priorities so that you can have something that you really want.
Alright, so here comes a long aside, that actually has everything to do with what I am awakening to here. So stick it out with me!
There was a time when I was in college and I wasn't getting the best of grades. I met a girl at work, and I'm ashamed to say this, but I thought she was sort of ditzy because she laughed all the time and joked a lot, and so I just knew I was smarter than her. I cringe at my pride and childishness. Because as it turns out, she was very smart and her grades were far better than mine. She had been attending UVSC before BYU. Again, I thought I was smarter. Turns out she had attended an excellent university in another state but had moved to Provo last minute. Of course, she could have gone to BYU had she known she was coming and met the deadline for applications. Instead she chose to continue school at a community college. How smart is she? Very very very smart!
Again, for me the hubris. I was such a hypocrite. Really. I was barely eking out Cs and Bs. I even made this lame excuse to my dad that I just wasn't that smart. Ugh. So here I was saying I wasn't smart, but then I was also judging other people and claiming that my intellect was so superior. So who was the dumb one? Me...dingdingding!
Anyway, we became good friends, and I realized I was not giving college the effort I should have been. Instead, I was choosing different priorities and making excuses rather than facing what it was I needed to do to be a good student. Because of her example, I made a change. My grades improved greatly. All thanks to her and her example. I'm grateful for the blessing, even though I did not deserve such a blessing. And I learned two things. First, don't be judgy! Duh!
Second, either you make excuses. OR...you work. You shift around your priorities. The thing is, I still had a great social life. I actually had a better social life. I had good grades. My life was better balanced than it had been in a very long time.
And so I have to really consider what Zusak said. Writing is work. Sure it is creative and fun. But not always. If I want to write a book, I have to ask myself if I am willing to work that hard at it. Am I willing to rewrite pieces of it hundreds of times? Am I willing to sit down and outline it and then adjust that outline over and over again? Am I willing to experiment and write from different voices, even if it means an entire rewrite of a novel? Am I? Am I really willing to give it a full year and all the attention I have? If so, great. Then it is time I do this. If not, it is time to let it go.
It's a public commitment to make. I'm saying I am ready. Now. It is time for it to be a priority. I've been thinking about this since I was very very young. I don't want to live my life wondering if I could have done it. The regret would be too much. I have too much regret as it is. I can't let this be another on that list. I'm ready to make it a priority. Number one or number two. Top. On the list.
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