In the which we shall discuss various topics related to having the best friend a girl could ask for.
1. Oh don't you just love a good laugh? I find it delightful. And something else that I find delightful? My friends. In particular my BFF Dawn. She's funny and smart and she makes me smile.
Who doesn't need a good BFF in their life? Everyone needs that. Because life is unfair. So there's that.
Yes, I've decided that life really is unfair, just like my mom always told me. And no amount of wishing and praying and hoping is going to change that particular little fact one bit. So either I face it or continue living in denial.
But this is not to say that it is all bad news. Because just as into every life a little rain must fall, into every life, a little sun must shine. I even shared this tidbit with Dawn. You see, we are experiencing some difficulties over here and her...over there. I mean, serious adult drama. The kind that rocks your world - and not in a good way. The details are not important, but I will say this. Life...you can't make this stuff up, yo!
How-some-ever...if we are experiencing some of the most difficult drama right now, that means that there is sunshine and good times ahead. And I really do believe it. I mean, I personally believe that life is all about the opposites and experiencing both sides of the coin. Everyone has something traumatic happen to them. It may happen early. It may happen late. But it will happen. And so everyone will experience peace and joy - true joy. So there is that, too. Life is the great equalizer.
2. What else? Oh, I've been discussing this whole Mormon Bachelorette deal with some folks who happen to think I should do it. Should I? I don't know. I'm obviously thinking it over and wondering. And what do I expect? People to shout no? I mean, what would I think about that? So of course they are saying yes, do it!
And of course the BFF thinks I should as well. She even went on to make it my assignment for the week, as if! She's not the boss of me...NO SIR!
And I told her the honest truth. I don't know if my self-esteem can take it. I mean, I've been moving on a scale between two different phases. One...trying to "do something" about the no male BFF issue by attending every singles activity, praying, going to the temple, fasting, etc. Am I still single? People, has anyone put a ring on it? Nope! So option two? Doing nothing. And I mean nothing. I mean, yes, I still go to church and the temple. But there have been times when I just didn't even want to go on dates. (ASIDE...let us be completely honest. Dating stops being fun post-grad. Too much pressure. But that is a post for another day.) So doing nothing got me no ring either. The between (obvi)???? Somewhere between one and two. And guess what? Still no ring on it!
And I just don't know what the answer is. Doing something, not doing something...??? But it seems like the times when I tried harder, my self-esteem took a bigger hit because I was putting out the effort and nothing.
Peeps, I have to tell you. This trial is starting to make me feel like Sisyphus.
Anywho, so back to the Mormon Bachelorette. Say I send in a video and I don't get picked? Then what do I think? And say I do send in the video and get picked and yet it all goes as it has always gone in the past. No ring. (And yes, I am aware that I am putting FAR FAR FAR too much thought into this.) So I tell Dawn all this and I wonder what that would do to me. "Not to my testimony," I clarify. She starts laughing. "Can you imagine...I don't believe anymore because I wasn't the Mormon Bachelorette." Oh lots of silly giggling.
We will be getting a lot of mileage out of that one, believe you me!
Ugh! And bother. And why can't I read the derned future, I ask you? But seriously, it wouldn't shake my faith so much as my self-esteem. Oh Marty McFly...I'm just not sure I can take that kind of rejection!
3. Speaking of being the boss of people, the conversation continued along these lines.
BFF: "We need to be more positive about ourselves."
Me: "True. We do."
BFF: "I'm going to write five...wait no one positive thing about myself in my gratitude journal every night."
Me: Lots of laughing, "Um...five...no wait, just one good thing. A monkey could write one good thing. You can come up with five."
Blah blah blah...unimportant to the story conversation in between...
BFF: "I'll write five things when you are the Mormon Bachelorette!"
Me: "I thought you were going to say 'when you are the boss of me"...and I am the boss of you! You'll write five a night."
BFF: "You are not the boss of me. And I can't write five things a night because I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. I can't come up with five things a night for the rest of my life!"
Me: LAUGHING and LAUGHING!
4. And to conclude, after talking to my BFF, I feel better and we commiserated a lot and laughed a lot. Mostly at the end, we just laughed to our silly hearts' delight.
Oh, and I think people are supportive and helpful and pretty awesome, too.
And it is okay if you don't find our conversations as funny as I do. All that matters is that we find them funny.
Yes, life is unfair. But that is that. Might as well just forget it and move on...or at least accept it and find a reason to be happy after all.
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