A Child

My friend's little boy has an inoperable brain tumor. His prognosis is terminal.

That's pretty final, don't you think? I think it is, and it makes me feel very very sad for him. It makes me feel very sad for his parents. It makes me feel very sad for his little brother, who might not get the chance to know him. He's a very sweet, good and extremely smart boy. He's also very special, and I could sense that from the time I met him. Of course, all children are special, but there is something different about this boy. Everyone who knows him cannot help but adore him.

And of course, this feels like tragedy feels. Real life tragedy. The kind that cuts your heart and makes you cry and cry. I imagine my friend, and I imagine her finding out, for the first time, that her little boy probably won't be around for too much longer. In fact, that is the most likely scenario, though it does not change the fact that I still believe that he might make it. Even if survival is almost zero percent likely. Maybe it is God's will that he will survive and maybe it is not. But I trust that His will will be done.

I've been thinking so much about what it must feel like, to look at your sweet little child and know that these moments might be some of the last moments you will spend together. What would it be like to take him in your arms and hold him while he sleeps or touch his hand or kiss his cheek? What would it be like to watch him sleep or play with his friends? What would that be like to have a conversation with him? All of this when you know that these moments are not guaranteed tomorrow?

I do think it is so sad, so very very sad. But I also think there is a beauty there, too. I imagine that my friend feels very privileged to have this sweet boy for the time she has him. I imagine that she is storing up the memories of all he is and all he has done so that she can remember him always, even if he has to go. And I imagine she sees the blessing in being a mother, especially in being his mother. I cannot think of anything more special than to be a mother.

She will always be his mother, no matter what happens, and he will always be her boy. Always.