Where Did I Go?

I find myself wondering this all the time as I get older. Where did that old me, that brave me, that bold me go?

Take the following example. I was twenty-five. And I wanted to teach. I quit my job at the law firm to take a job as a summer school teacher. I was told that there would be a job on the other end if I would do this. It wasn't true. But that's a whole other ball of wax. The ball of wax I'm talking about is this: I did everything I could to get the job. I called, regularly, to discuss the position. I chased the job down, I tell. I chased it down. The department chair told me that "You did everything right." She wanted to hire me, she said. But her hands were tied, and she was being told to she had to hire someone else instead, so in the end I didn't get it. I got another job. But I looked and I kept looking and I refused to give up on it. In the end, it paid off.

I just wonder some days where she went. She was pretty much set on something that she wanted and she got it. I would really like her to come back please! Because I'm feeling pretty much no self-confidence at this point at all. Whatsoever. And I would like to feel that energy...the spark come back into my life. I want to want something that bad that I go after it with gusto. So if you have seen that girl tell her I miss her and would welcome her back with open arms!