Heart Break

So today we went to the mall. One of my nieces has been struggling lately with whining. Every time she doesn't get what she wants, she whines. I can't deny how I feel about said whining. It grates on every last nerve in my body. It grates on her daddy's every last nerve. And finally, he told her that if it didn't stop she'd be grounded from a birthday party tonight.

You can guess what happened about twenty-minutes after the warning. It's hard when you are four.

And oh boy did she cry about it. I mean the sobbing and the hiccuping sort of crying. She'd stop for a moment to notice something, take a breath, remember she wasn't going to the party, and out the tears and the sobs came all over again. Oh, and there were some screams. Some high pitched screams of absolute frustration at missing a birthday party. Because is anything ever more important that a birthday party when you are four?

I felt bad for her. It isn't because I remember what it was like to be disappointed at four. Although I am sure there were plenty of disappointments. I'm sure I got grounded and missed a birthday party or some other important event.

I just know what disappointment feels like now. And at times, that is how you feel inside. Just like you did when you were four and you missed out on your friend's party. You feel beyond sad. You feel something more akin to devastation. You feel your heart breaking itself in two pieces. And sometimes it just shatters all over. What a hard thing, to be heart broken.

I'm not feeling that way right now, mind you. Thank heavens! That's an awful feeling, and I'm very glad that today isn't a devastation kind of day. But pour four-year-old Audrey. It is a heart break sort of day for her.