Crush...

Do you stop having crushes as you get older? I haven't had one in a loooooooooong while. And so I wonder.

So hey, I just googled crush, and the first site that came up was about how when your body starts to change, you start to get crushes...sort of creepy, really.

And besides, my first crush was Elvis. And I was about six or something, so I'm pretty sure my body wasn't changing in those particular ways. Yes, he was so dreamy. I remember him there on the t.v. screen. Must of been some movie re-run when he was skinny, young and pretty. And I told my mom he was soooooo handsome and who was he, anyway, that handsome man. And my momma told me, why that's Elvis Presley.

Then there was Scott Christensen, and maybe I shouldn't put this in writing because it's completely embarrassing that I was like seven years old and had a crush on the little boy in my ward who was in love with my best friend Christy Walker. All the boys were in love with Christy. It's understandable. She was adorable.

The rest of my grade school years were kind of a blur and I can't remember for the life of me who I crushed on after Scott. But I'm sure there were others.

In junior high I think I had the same crush every girl did. This guy moved to Spanish Fork from the South...Georgia or something, I guess. His accent was swoon-worthy, and I'm sure he played it up for all the ladies. And I thought he was perfect. Elliot Ingle...blonde and beautiful. And I wonder who else out there had a crush on the boy.

High school...well, I'm not sure I have the guts to admit to those crushes. There were many. And some of them, well, some of them I may still run into. So I'll just keep my trap shut and say there were many and varied and sundry boys that I thought were too adorable for words.

The first really big one, though, broke my heart in half. That was David Gallman. I was a senior. He was a freshman...IN COLLEGE! Hello, I would never have dated a ninth grader! Anyway, David was from Mississippi. I guess I have a thing for the southern accent. He kissed me and then pretty much that was it. I guess he just wasn't that in to me. I never could figure that guy out. Never. He'd crop up every few years. Until he finally got married. I think that's what it was. He was my "he's just not that into you" guy. You live, you learn!

There were plenty more after that...Tim Hoopes, the first guy I dated that was younger than me. He was actually really a great guy and super fun. James Baird. I was actually in love with that guy...CRAZY! Not my best judgment. McKay Bateman...adorable and sweet, seriously. Stewart Schultkie (can't spell his last name), a very important crush because he was SMAAAAAART!!! Cute and smart are the best combination! And he was sweet and funny. Maybe he's my one that got away :(! And oh yeah, David Clark. That crush just wouldn't die, even after he stood me up. I mean, my crush for him wouldn't die. I hope he is doing just fine and not dying or anything. Because that would be horrible.

There's been some stuff in between, but that stuff gets pretty messy, and I mostly just want this to be about the good memories and fun crushes I had.

Oh and there is always Matt Damon. ALWAYS...even if the movie sucked or he gained 50 pounds for the role. And sometimes James Franco, but sometimes so NOT James Franco. Like James Franco Spiderman...the boy cleans up well vs. James Franco Pineapple Express...which I have not seen but stoner James Franco just isn't really my thing.

Anyway, why would I admit to all this and subject myself to humiliation? I guess because crushes are nice and fun. And I liked them. They're one of those things that are both painful and exhilarating all at the same time. You know...will he call me, won't he? Oh I love running into him at some random place. Or seeing him in class! Good times, folks! And I'm not being facetious, by the way. I am serious. Crushes are rad.

Really, though, peeps. Perhaps I'm hoping that karma and all the good vibes of the universe will see me having positive memories of dating and men and crushes. Once karma sees these good vibes floating out there, karma will see that I truly do want a crush...that will then lead to love...??? I don't know. I'm just using a public forum to admit to the world that I want to fall in love. That I'm open. So Bring It On, Karma! I can take it!

Or maybe crushes are my favorite, like Blue Bell Cherry Cheesecake Ice Cream, or fat babies, or meadows full of flowers (oh maybe I'll share some pictures tomorrow of my nice walk amongst the flora and fauna). That and maybe I just wanted to remember something good and happy.