What I've Been Pondering...

Faith has been on my mind lately. A lot. I know I've blogged about it before. But this is what I have to say about it today. I don't think I give faith a full chance.

And what does that mean? Well, the thought came to me last week. My sister-in-law told me that she thought I should pray for the ability to take good care of my health, give up those things that aren't good for me, and to treat my body well. (I.e., give up sugar...in my case.) I was sort of complaining about my lack of desire to do this. Another friend said that she had tried the same thing, and that she was still struggling. I admit to having similar thoughts myself. Those sneaking thoughts, like..."Sure but I've asked for that help before" kind of thoughts.

It's probably true that the change I am seeking in so many different aspects of my life won't come over night and that an effort is required to break bad habits. But then what of faith? And what of the small steps that get us to the end goal? Those count for something. I know they do. For example, what about the day where I run eight miles and say no to any and all junk food? That counts for something. That day I was able to do it. That day I was able to really stick to my goals. Or what about going to San Antonio for two and a half weeks and taking my weights with me so that I could work out? And actually getting the workouts in. That counts for something. Those two weeks or so, I was able to do what I said I would do. And even for the past seven or eight weeks. I've been a machine...a machine I tell you. And yes, that DOES indeed count for something. It shouldn't be dismissed like it doesn't matter.

It isn't just about my eating habits or exercising. It is about the rest of life, too. It is about finding a job. It is about finding a boyfriend. It is about a future marriage and children and writing a book and being happy. It is about, as Elder Holland reminds us, "our land of milk and honey...our promised land." Faith means that God CAN and DOES get us to where we need to go.

I can honestly say two things. One: I've never faced a more challenging time in my entire life. Never. I've had depression. I've felt afraid. I've been jobless. And I've been pretty much boyfriendless for many, many years. But I've never wondered where I was going with my life until this past year. It has never ever been this scary. Two: I've never handled that fear so well. I've never faced it with this much faith. I've never known as I do now how much I can rely on God to get me through it. He has yet to fail me.

From the words of our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson:

"I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments."

And that is life...joyful...with promised blessings beyond measure. I have faith that all that I pass through now will be for my good. And I have faith that I will be blessed with just what I need. A job, a marriage, a family, and success as a writer. I'm going to start acknowledging those simple successes in life, those small moments of triumph. I will honor them with a grateful heart! Because...I have faith. I have faith. I have faith.