So, well, I'm pretty sure that I'm trying hard not to be bitter about life. And usually when I start to feel bitter, it's generally because I have tunnel vision. I can't see anything but what I do not have...and I start to think that things will never ever change. Which is generally silly because things are always changing. This particular random list is dedicated to being grateful for things that I'm trying not to be bitter about through memories of good things...things that prove that my life has not always been this way.
1. A really great job...
I wanted to teach when I graduated, a whole lot. And I was motivated to find a job doing just that, even if it meant that I had to make some scary sacrifices. I had to quit a good job for a temporary summer school teaching position, and then I had to cross my fingers and hope that it turned into something permanent. It didn't, but I was really blessed, anyway, because I got a job teaching at Annandale, and that was a blessing for a million reasons. So I am grateful because I did get my dream job, once upon a time.
2. A really nice guy...
When I was working at Brick Oven, I met this really nice guy. I can't remember much about him. I don't recall his name, even. And I don't know why it is that I think of this particular memory when it comes to guys since I can't remember much. I think it is because I remember how he treated me. He was so kind. He took me to the Olive Garden on our first date, and I remember feeling so comfortable with him. He was going to take me to Park City on our second date, but I got the flu and this bug was terrible. So he surprised me and came over with some soup and a note, and he spent the evening with me anyway, even though I must have looked terrible. I'm grateful for the nice guys of the world who think of ways to serve others.
3. A Car...
This might not have been the wisest choice in my life, but when I left Virginia, I wanted to sell my car. I thought that was the sign I needed that I was on the right track, and so I posted my car on Auto Trader. The car sold within two days. So then I got to Utah and got a job in Vegas, so I set out to find a new vehicle. I knew what I wanted, and I got it. I'm grateful that I had a car and the one I wanted. But I am more grateful that we get to make our own choices and that we aren't sheltered from our mistakes. It was not smart to sell the car in the first place, and it wasn't smart to buy a brand new car. But I think as mistakes go, it was a good way for me to learn about the choices I make. That and I am grateful that I could afford a car in the first place, I'm grateful I had the freedom to go where I wanted to go, and I'm grateful I had a job to pay for gas.
4. An apartment...
I loved my apartment in New Jersey. It was my own space. The other day I was looking through old pictures I took during finals one semester. And I didn't remember the stress of studying for countless hours. Instead, I remembered how much I loved coming home. My apartment was small, but it was cozy. I had a very comfortable couch, nice pictures on the walls, bookshelves full of novels and nick knacks. Mostly I just appreciate that it was mine. I am grateful for having such a nice roof over my head.
5. Today...
It isn't just things that I had in the past that I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for things I have now. I am grateful for a place to live and family members who take care of me. I am grateful for savings accounts, even if I didn't plan to use them before I retired. I am grateful for friends in Utah: for Leyah who is introducing me to a new circle of friends; for my girls from high school who are truly the best friends in the world...post about them tomorrow; for my friends from all the many places I've lived who are still my friends and who still call and write and look after me. I'm grateful for the ward I'm in now...my childhood ward. I honestly love these people. They are good and kind, and they love me. I am grateful for my medication because I'm starting to feel normal again. I'm grateful for exercise exercise exercise. I'm grateful for the people who have met with me about finding a job, those who have asked me to send on my resume, those who have found jobs that I can apply to, and all those who pray for me to find something. I'm grateful for the encouragement from Carol, Dawn, Leah and others who've been encouraging me and my goals. I'm grateful to teach Relief Society, and I love the sisters in the Leland Ward.
See, lots to be grateful for...lots!
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