-noun
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune
2. earnest but tense desire; eagerness
3. psychiatry: a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder
Pretty descriptive of what I've been feeling today. I had a phone interview for a job in Lindon, Utah. Yes, that is right. I said Utah. I even said Lindon...in Utah County. And yes I know what I've said in the past. "I'll never move back to Utah." "I could never live in Utah again." "I just don't want to live in Utah." "Utah is for suckers!" (Okay so maybe not the last one...although I probably did think it.) But I have avowed myself to never ever living in Utah again.
Then I went to Utah for a few weeks this summer. Just got back last Wednesday, actually. And guess what? I have to move to Utah. Why? You might ask. Well, I'll tell you what Grandpa Fish told me that time I asked him how he knew he was going to marry Grandma Fish when he had never even talked to her or met her. He'd only seen her across a room one night at a little Halloween shindig. But he turned to his friend and said he knew he'd marry her one day. And so I had to ask him how he knew that. Because it did come true. And he said, "I don't know, Michelle. And you can't ask me that. Some things you just know."
And that is how I know. Some things you just feel.
So I applied for this one job in Lindon, Utah for an assistant general counsel position. It's the only job I can find, really. At least in Utah County, which is where I feel strongly about being. And today I had a short phone interview.
I was anxious...feeling "distress or uneasiness of mind" I tell you! I mean, it's scary to do something like that after you've been out of the loop for so long. And you don't want to stick your foot in your mouth and you think about everything you say. Well, I didn't do a lot of talking. My interviewer did. She told me a lot about the job, and it is something I am perfectly capable of doing. But I'm the first person she's interviewed. I have no idea how many more people are on her list. So of course that leads to more anxiety. That is, the anxiety of waiting to know what is going to happen. Of feeling "earnest but tense desire; eagerness."
And of course, I hope. I hope that it will work out. I mean, I know I'm supposed to go and all. I have my answer. Now I need to find work. Really and truly. And that leads me to feeling "apprehension and psychic tension."
I think I'll go say a prayer for comfort and for the ability to accept whatever will come. I'll pray to be able to feel peace. Because if I am supposed to go, then I will find the work. That and I trust that I got an answer. It was clear. And I have faith.
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune
2. earnest but tense desire; eagerness
3. psychiatry: a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder
Pretty descriptive of what I've been feeling today. I had a phone interview for a job in Lindon, Utah. Yes, that is right. I said Utah. I even said Lindon...in Utah County. And yes I know what I've said in the past. "I'll never move back to Utah." "I could never live in Utah again." "I just don't want to live in Utah." "Utah is for suckers!" (Okay so maybe not the last one...although I probably did think it.) But I have avowed myself to never ever living in Utah again.
Then I went to Utah for a few weeks this summer. Just got back last Wednesday, actually. And guess what? I have to move to Utah. Why? You might ask. Well, I'll tell you what Grandpa Fish told me that time I asked him how he knew he was going to marry Grandma Fish when he had never even talked to her or met her. He'd only seen her across a room one night at a little Halloween shindig. But he turned to his friend and said he knew he'd marry her one day. And so I had to ask him how he knew that. Because it did come true. And he said, "I don't know, Michelle. And you can't ask me that. Some things you just know."
And that is how I know. Some things you just feel.
So I applied for this one job in Lindon, Utah for an assistant general counsel position. It's the only job I can find, really. At least in Utah County, which is where I feel strongly about being. And today I had a short phone interview.
I was anxious...feeling "distress or uneasiness of mind" I tell you! I mean, it's scary to do something like that after you've been out of the loop for so long. And you don't want to stick your foot in your mouth and you think about everything you say. Well, I didn't do a lot of talking. My interviewer did. She told me a lot about the job, and it is something I am perfectly capable of doing. But I'm the first person she's interviewed. I have no idea how many more people are on her list. So of course that leads to more anxiety. That is, the anxiety of waiting to know what is going to happen. Of feeling "earnest but tense desire; eagerness."
And of course, I hope. I hope that it will work out. I mean, I know I'm supposed to go and all. I have my answer. Now I need to find work. Really and truly. And that leads me to feeling "apprehension and psychic tension."
I think I'll go say a prayer for comfort and for the ability to accept whatever will come. I'll pray to be able to feel peace. Because if I am supposed to go, then I will find the work. That and I trust that I got an answer. It was clear. And I have faith.
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