Full confession...I got this idea from a website called journal ideas. I guess I'm getting sort of desperate. And you know what desperation calls for...desperate measures. And second warning - maybe this is a bit of downer entry.
Oh well.
But really, this is actually a great idea for an entry. Better than most I've found when I'm feeling like I can't find anything rattling up around in my cranial region. And I go surfing the net. Only to come up empty.
I think I'm starting to figure something out, though. A little bit, anyway. And that is what hell is like. I was doing my Jillian DVD - and yes, hell might be a little like that workout felt - but it's actually something that she said that really caught my attention.
So before the actual workout starts, she's giving her little schpeel. Her philosophy about exercise and caring for you body. And I skip it because, well, it's uber silly to me. I mean, it's good to have a philosophy, but let's just get to the workout and what not so I can get my sweat on. Anyway, in my fastforwarding frenzy, I went to far. And so I backed up. And that was too far, but I hit play anyways...and just happened to hear a little bit of what she had to say.
Most people operate in a comfort zone that is far below their potential. (Or something along those lines...I don't remember her exact words, but the sentiment is the same and I am giving her credit. So.)
What's that you say, Jillian? Are you talking to me. I think so!
And that is hell, my friends. Hell is not living up to what you know you can do. And some days it feels like that is the next stop on the train. Hell that is. It's so easy to get trapped, too. It becomes a habit. So every day I feel like I have to remind myself that I don't want to function this way...in a rut, that is. I want more...soooooooooooooo much more!
I want to have the freedom to do. I want to write books. I want to go to China and then maybe Peru and the Loire River Valley and oh so many many places. I want to buy a cute little house and decorate it with pretty photographs of sparkling landscapes and old, burnt out buildings. And fill it with books and read read read. I want to date and fall in love.
And yet. And yet it is so easy to fall into the comfort zone. It's so easy to give half of my heart and reserve the rest. It's so easy to hold back. It's so easy. So easy. But there is no denying that it's not fulfilling my full potential. And there is also no denying that it is hell.
No comments:
Post a Comment