A Cosmic Vending Machine

Once upon a time, I was in community theater. You see I wanted to be an actress. Every week, my mom would take me to the high school where we would practice our plays. I never was the lead - I was young and had small parts. Maybe six or seven lines? I would work hard to memorize them, though.

But my favorite part of community theater was being with my friends and being at the high school. The high school was a magical place with hidden rooms behind stages. And mostly it was where grown-ups were...big, grown-up teenagers! So mature, so world-wise. Yes, I loved going to the high school to be around teenagers.

And then too, I loved the vending machine.

I was a chubby kid. I had a sweet tooth. And the elementary schools most certainly did not have that gloriously magical machine.

One day, after our theater practice was all over, I went to meet my mom. On the way, I stopped at the vending machine for a treat. I remember I had this little blue purse that my Grandma Andrus had given me. And I knew I had just enough for a candy bar. So I rooted around in the purse and found my money. It took me a while, let me tell you. Who knows what a grade schooler needs with a purse full of junk, but I'm sure I had all sorts of important and valuable treasures.

I put my money in, after all that rooting for change, and guess what? The machine ate my money!!! Oh the depths of my disappointment to have to leave that money behind without my longed for candy bar.

Many years later, I was listening to a talk at stake conference. I was particularly touched by one talk...the talk where I learned something true. God is not a cosmic vending machine. We don't push the right combination of buttons and magically get what we want.

Why? Because God is a being independent of our wants and our desires. And what a magnificent being He is!

Probably, as a chubby little girl, I didn't really need that candy bar, want it as I did. And probably now as an adult, all the things I think I need, probably I don't. Probably I should just let Him do His work. Like, I put the money in...the effort that I have to give. And then I wait patiently to see what He thinks I need most.

I suppose, though, it is comforting to think that there might be some big vending machine in the sky that might grant you one wish in your life. The funny thing is, I always thought I knew what I would ask for. Now I am not so sure. I'm not so sure I want to decide what that will be. Maybe it is just better to be surprised and happy with what you get.