365 Days of Writing

That's a hopeful title. I like the way it sounds. A full year of keeping track; a full year of keeping a promise. It makes me smile a little. It helps me to hope that my goals are not so far off and that I can reach them. It only takes a day. One day and then the next.

Actually, speaking of hope, I've been thinking a lot about that today. A sweet friend might lose her newly adopted baby. In fact, it looks likely. She's been waiting for seven years to be a mother. I think of others who wait. Some wait for enough money to make ends meet. Some wait for jobs. Some wait for companionship. Some wait for good health. We all wait for something.

I was going to say that it seems unfair. But that isn't true. If we all have to wait, then everyone experiences the anxiety and fear that come along with waiting. Then I was going to say that the easy thing to do would be to give up. But that isn't true, either. Giving up hope only makes life more difficult. The point being that in the end, there are no easy answers. Sometimes life is really good and peaceful and the universe feels kind. And sometimes it does not feel warm and cozy at all. Sometimes it feels like a cold shaft is opening up inside of my chest, like Pandora's Box letting pain slip slowly, silently out of the cracks and crevices. And then that pain creeps through my heart and moves upward, drifting and wafting into my mind. I wonder how anything will ever come out right.

But then things do come out right. Pandora's Box contained more than just the evil in the world. Of course, it contained hope. I know life isn't all darkness and worry. There are good things to be grateful for, always good things, even when I feel hopeless. I have a family and friends and support when I need it. I have a warm place to put my head down at night. I don't go hungry. I was given talents and the intelligence to use those talents wisely. I have been told "I love you" countless times in my life; I've been able to say it countless times in return. I have faith in God and Christ and that my prayers to Them mean something.

I hope my friend will keep her baby. I hope I will find a job. I hope I will find love and marriage. I hope for friends and family every where to be at peace. I hope, even if the odds are long. Most especially, I have hope in Christ. And that, in the end, is all there really is - a loving Brother of a loving Father who both know. And so I hope...I hope...I hope. And then I try to remember that it only takes one day. One day and then the next.